And now, on "As the Stomach Churns..."

*names have been changed. just so you know*


OK folks, I've really tried to keep family draaaama out of this blog, but I gotta tell someone, and you're it. Besides, if you don't wanna read this crap, you need only scroll past it.
6 weeks ago, La Diva came driving up to the doorstep crying. Her children were in the backseat, silent. A 7 year old and a 2 year old are NEVER silent. (and awake) She was afraid of him. She was afraid that her boyfriend (Tacoboy) would hurt the children. Afraid that he would hurt her, or have her arrested again. (yes, I said again.) She uproots her children, moves in with us and forces Miss Primadonna Pooperschnitzel (7) to change schools in the middle of the year. Prim hates him and is afraid of him. "Tacoboy is ruining my life." No child that age should know how to suck up to someone because they're afraid of them. But she does. I've seen her. She kisses his weaselly little narrow ass so that he won't scream at her and shut her in her bedroom. "Hi Taco, I love you Taco." This...thing is not her father. Problem, though. He is Mr. TrainTrain BusyPants's(2) father.
So...this week. Miss Prim is at her daddy's having a sleep-over (it's school vaca week) and La Diva picks up Pants...and disappears. No phone call to let the people she lives with know she and Pants are OK and not dead on the side of the road, nothing. She rolls in about 9:30 the next morning, sans Mr. BusyPants, and proceeds to start stuffing clothes and diapers into plastic bags. I am not a stupid woman. I know where Pants is, and I know where she's been. But I must go to work. So I leave it alone, except..."Hey, Prim's daddy called here looking for you." "*diatribe about how he could have called her cell, and what a useless piece of crap he is.*" "OK, well, just giving you the message, dude." "*vitriol, vitriol*" "Well, gotta go to work, bye." And an offhand reminder that Prim is having a sleepover guest (Miss Chatterbox SnugglyBear, 7) that night.
So why do I have Mother mine, Prim's Daddy(The Inkerator) and Bear's mama(Ka-to) calling me at work all day? *Sigh* Because they know I'll fix it so that the girls can have their sleepover even if La Diva is a no-show as usual. In Ka-to's defense, she has 3.5 other children to marshal, and one disappointed 7 year old can screw up the mix real bad for her. The last thing you need whilst incubating, neh?
The sleepover goes off without a hitch *phew*. LaDiva even manages to sleep at home that night. Last night, however, she took her children out to "Get her oil change done." And proceeded to drop the children off at 7:30 this morning to be watched so she could go to work.
Part of me wants to call Inky and tell him what's up. He already hates Tacoboy and doesn't want the guy near his daughter. Part of me wants to tell LaDiva what. All of me wishes that Taco would just fall off the face of the earth because of all the hurt and misery he's caused my family. Seriously...I can't wait to leave. I'll miss the children, but I can't be a part of this anymore. it's affecting my work, my sleep, my stomach...I don't mean to sound selfish, but there is NOTHING I CAN DO FOR THESE CHILDREN. I can't change what's happening to them, or take them out of what I know is a bad situation. All I can do is love them when I see them, and patch up their physical hurts.
LaDiva I'm done with. She'll get "excuse me" and "pass the salt" out of me.

Dobedobedo...selling ev'rythin...dobedobedo...all has gotta go

Yep. Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig yard sale this weekend. Kinda feels like I'm selling the last 8 years 5 bucks at a time. I have some trepidations about driving 1700 miles and not having any furniture when I get there, but it's also a great big weight of my pack-rat past that's coming off my shoulders. As I was looking through the mountain of boxes and bags that came from Summer St., I saw things I hadn't looked at in a year. OK, fine. Happens, right? Then...then I saw shit that hasn't seen the light of day since before Peepeehead left. Whoa. Why do I hold on to this crap?? Even if I wasn't moving halfway across the country, I have trucked this garbage to 4 different homes now. Jeebus, there's 2 liquor-store boxes of it!! So the motto for this month is: Sell It, Give It Away, and if all else fails, Chuck It.
The worst part? I have to get rid of sewing machines. ACK! And Fabric. And thread. and *shudder* YARN.
As a matter of fact, I have to have a yard sale in order to clear off the top layer of junk...so I can find the rest of the stuff I'm getting rid of. Double ack.

This Month's Experiment:

I noticed that living in this town makes me crankier the longer I'm here. I'm beginning to think it does that to most everyone. So I'm experimenting, something I call The Great Smile Experiment.
On super nice days like today I will go for a walk in beautiful downtown Concord and smile. At everyone I pass. At folks in cars. At people in shops. Hey, it's a gorgeous day, the sun is sunny, it's not too hot, the smell of coffee is wafting from the open doors of the coffee and bagel shops, the kids have the week off from school.
So I did. Great big "it's too nice out to be cranky" smiles. At everyone, and everyone's dogs and children.
Nada. Nothing. Zip.
Not one return smile.
Yep, this town is cranky.

Tips for Restaurants, V 1.0

So, hubberooni and I went out tonight. Doesn't happen very often these days, so we like to make it special when it does. We have a few favorite restaurants here in the Capitol City, ones that we frequent often. We decided to try something new tonight, and boy did we make a bad choice. So, Uno Chicago Grill, if you're listening, you suck.
Here be the list of negatives:

I won't add in the 15 minute wait for a table, because we expected it. I mean 15 minutes, no biggie, right?

1.) When we were seated, we waited about 5 minutes for menus, and then 15 more after that before we even saw a server, no beverages, nothing. When we finally saw a server, it was for her to tell us she'd be with us in a few minutes. Still no drinks. Not even waters. P.S. the table? dirty.

2.) Server finally shows up, it takes her 3 tries to read our order back to us correctly.
How hard is it to get a salad, a burger and 2 iced teas???

3.) Fast forward to food showing up. Salad dressing is not on the side as requested, and burger is well done instead of medium rare. Oh well...no big deal. Except it is.

4.) There are some important things to mention on the menu. Like that the burger comes with some sort of sauce, and that walnuts in the salad are candied. Not a big deal for most, but when you're not allowed to have sugar...a big deal.

5.) Salad dressing tastes like soap. Wrong cheese on burger. Candied fucking walnuts. Not just some, but so many it was nearly impossible to avoid them. Salad abandoned.

6.) Saw server three times. To take our order, to bring the food, to bring the check. At which point I had Had Enough. I let them have it.

Upshot? Got our "meal" for free. Never going back.

Now I'm gonna go send them a nasty email. Just about the walnuts, though.

BusyBusyBusy!

So, it has finally come to March. The month that haunts my existence. The month where traditionally it All Goes Wrong for me. All job-losing, health crises, major marital fights, and life-altering crapulence happens in March. It's mind-boggling. This month, so far, has been fairly...benign! Color me utterly astonished, but the normal beginning-of-the-year crapfest didn't wait until March this year, but started in January. Now that it's passed on through, everything's fairly ordinary. I'm peacefully doin' ma thang here at the herb shop, hubberooni is working the rent-a-cop job third shift and liking it OK, the cat eats, sleeps, poops, plays and snuggles, the niece and nephew are cute, the sister is fairly pleasant, the parents are parents.

OK, SO not complaining. This is the first March in 8 years that life has been livable, thank you Goddess.

And now: Craft-o-the Week!
Bed Sachets
Materials:
2 7"x5" rectangles of fabric. I like to use one of calico and one of something nice and fuzzy, like polarfleece. Works really awesome as an eye-pillow!
rice OR buckwheat hulls OR flax seeds
4 tablespoons each of dried:
lavender
rose petals
chamomile

Cut 2 7"x5" rectangles of fabric. sew right sides together, leaving a 1.5" opening for turning and stuffing. Turn.

mix your dried flowers together, and roll a piece of printer paper into a cone shape with a largeish opening at the tip. Tuck the tip of the cone into the pillow to use as a funnel for filling the pillow. Remember, you want this to be fairly loose, more like a beanbag than an actual pillow, so don't overstuff! Alternate pouring scoops of rice/buckwheat hulls/flax seeds and flower mix into the pillow, and stitch the opening shut.

TaaaaDaa! Enjoy!

WARNING!!!

Too much sugar-free chocolate=unhappy tummy. that is all.

Life, the Universe, and splenda

So my new "food plan" has taken me off sugar completely. This shall not be reason to mope! Hershey's has gifted us with sugar-free Special Dark, and all is right with the world again.

Many thanks to Hungry Girl (see me links) for her tireless efforts in finding food that is not only in the plan, but yummy too.

As for some of the foods being bland...well, do I work in an herb shop? YES I DO! (again, see linkies) So, I have an entire 200+ herbs to work with, I'll manage to come up with some yummalicious seasoning blends. Hmmm...how to make food and medicine one thing? Vinegar tinctures! Soon, my lovelies, soon...

DUUUUUHHH

Doorknob cozy pattern corrected...durrrrrrrrrrr....